Faith.

"I will not doubt, I will not fear; God's love and strength are always near. His promises help me to find an inner strength and peace of mind. I give the Father willingly my trust, my prayers, humility. His spirit guides; his love assures that fear departs when faith endures." Hymn 128

Sometimes I get really freaked out. I am really, really leaving the country for 18 months, on my own, to live with people I've never met, and preach the gospel to complete strangers, in a completely strange language, with only the letters and emails from my family and friends to help me along. 

I've never even been away from my mom for more than a week!!

Also, people keep saying that the fact that I took a foreign language in high school will help me to learn Italian, but how can my ONE schoolyear of French help me? I don't even remember that much about it, not to mention French IS NOT ITALIAN. (Can you TELL I'm freaked out to learn another language??) This is going to be so hard. And so scary...

...

And also life-changing,

and wonderful, 

and amazing.

Because as much as I fear this life change, every time I think about this incredible gospel, and the impact that Jesus Christ and his atonement, and the spirit, and the scriptures, and prayer, and the prophets, and just this wonderful gospel has had on me, it literally makes my heart feel trembly. I have such a strong testimony of this gospel and this work. My testimony isn't perfect, but it is growing, and it makes me happier than anything in the world. The least I can do is go out of my comfort zone and trust in the Lord, that he will lead me along,  and lead me to people who are ready to find the happiness that I have found, and to be okay when I find people who aren't ready for that. And be able to go to an apartment somewhere in Italy, where there are a bunch of other girls who miss their mothers, and their best friends, and their dog, and be able to sleep soundly at night.

"Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me." Hymn 97

Really, I am at an age and a time in my life, as are all of my friends, where we are making really important, and scary decisions. Really wonderful, terrifying decisions.

All the best decisions are that way, though, aren't they?

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

I have one of those frames that have like, 13 picture slots in it.

And it has been sitting in my closet all empty for years, and today I decided to fill it.

Now, when you fill giant frames full of little pictures, you must be very careful to only fill it with the best pictures. The pictures that contain people who bring you such joy, pictures that remind you of some happy, happy, memories, or capture little bits of heaven here on earth. 

I think I did a bit of a swell job picking out just the right pictures.

5 years ago.

Five year ago, I was 13 years old. 

I might have looked a little bit like this.

When I was 13, I lived down the street from where I live now. I had braces, and sometimes I asked for my rubber bands to be green and purple like my school's colors {ohh, what a winner...}. I thought that it was cool to wear plastic jewelry that came from a party supply store. I was a little bit afraid of boys, and threw paper at one because he tried to ask me out. And then I felt bad for being a jerk to him and tried to be friends with him and that went badly because he still wanted to go out with me.

 Bahahaha... oh my, I love how "going out" with people was even a thing in junior high. Like anyone could even "go" anywhere Going out in junior high=sitting at the lunch table together, batting eyelashes dramatically, and silently daring one to kiss the other.

When I was thirteen, I thought that Myspace was the devil, and that everyone else who had a Myspace before they were 14 {I guess that was the "legal" age for Myspace} were going to be pregnant tattoo-covered criminals in high school. 

When I was thirteen, I was gaga for choir, and I thought that I was going to NAU to become a choir teacher after high school.
When I was thirteen, I got my dog, Choxie, who was a brand new puppy, and was about 1/8 of her current size. 

When I was thirteen, my mom only let me wear makeup to choir concerts, and since I didn't have any of my own, I would go to my friend Paige's house, borrow her's, and try not to get mascara on my eyelids.

When I was thirteen, my friend Paige had a YouTube channel, and I was featured in one or two videos as a character named Shaniqua who wore a bag over her head because her mother didn't want her to be seen on YouTube. True story.

When I was thirteen, my friends Camille, Emily J., Jadyn (from It's Me, Jadyn Maree!), and I all saved up our money, held a garage sale, and cleaned up a man's dirty old house, and got enough money to have my mom drive us to L.A. to see Wicked at Pantages Theater! That was pretty much the highlight of my childhood. 

Besides that one time when I was 15, and Camille's dad surprise drove us all to Anaheim to go to Knott's Berry Farm, and and Camille jumped on me and Jadyn's bed at the hotel and threw ice chips at us and kept jumping on my leg, and the next morning I threatened death upon Camille for making me ride the Ghost Rider roller coaster. But that's a whole other story...