Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Saturday Morning Madness

I apologize for not posting any lighthearted silliness lately. I promise that lighthearted silliness is still in my soul! I just haven't had any substancial writing material based on my silliness. So for now, I'm gonna keep being all pre-missionary-deep-and-thoughtful. 'Kay?

So on Saturday morning, I was just about to head out the door to dear Jadyn's house. First, I wanted to run my visa application (for my mission) by my mom, to make sure everything was in order, and so that I could get an envelope and send it out that morning. However, upon looking through it, my mom found something I had forgotten to fill out. So I filled it out. 
Then she found something I had written wrong. I white-outed and rewrote it.
Then she found a whole page of application that I had totally missed. Completely. 
Then I had paperclipped my photo to the application, when I should have pasted it. Then I should have photocopied my seminary graduation a different way, jumped over a rainbow, swam through a river, and taken the ring to Mordor...
And what was meant to be a quick "check, check, okay, here's an envelope and a stamp" turned into an ordeal of re-doing things, checking dates, and translating my Italian-written ministerial certificate. 
I started to feel overwhelmed, and I kind of had my first "Oh man, what AM I going to do for a year and a half without my mommy?" meltdown.
When I was just about done weeping about my newly-realized dependence, my mom gave me a talk about how Satan was trying to work on me by making me think I can't do a mission, and that I had to just tell him to shove off. 
I tried. But I was still scared. What if I was in Italy and I needed to fill something out, and I didn't know the answer? I couldn't just call my mom to do it?
So I started freaking out again. But I left the house, being like an hour and a half late for meeting Jadyn.
As I drove, I started weeping again. What would I do? How am I going to do this? And then, Heavenly Father slipped the words of a hymn into my head (like he has been doing a lot lately for me...): "Fear not, I am with thee; oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand." As the words came, I wanted to hear the rest of the song, so (at a red light, silly. I'm a safe driver...) I pulled up the song on my iPod and listened. Some of those various lyrics hit me to the core! I mean, really, what could have helped me more at that time...
"In every condition-- in sickness, in health, in poverty's vale or abounding in wealth, at home or abroad, on the land or the sea-- as thy days may demand, as thy days may demand, as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be...
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow, for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, and sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress...
"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I cannot desert to his foes; that soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!"

So that's that. I got this. 

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