Sometimes I get really freaked out. I am really, really leaving the country for 18 months, on my own, to live with people I've never met, and preach the gospel to complete strangers, in a completely strange language, with only the letters and emails from my family and friends to help me along.
I've never even been away from my mom for more than a week!!
Also, people keep saying that the fact that I took a foreign language in high school will help me to learn Italian, but how can my ONE schoolyear of French help me? I don't even remember that much about it, not to mention French IS NOT ITALIAN. (Can you TELL I'm freaked out to learn another language??) This is going to be so hard. And so scary...
And also life-changing,
Because as much as I fear this life change, every time I think about this incredible gospel, and the impact that Jesus Christ and his atonement, and the spirit, and the scriptures, and prayer, and the prophets, and just this wonderful gospel has had on me, it literally makes my heart feel trembly. I have such a strong testimony of this gospel and this work. My testimony isn't perfect, but it is growing, and it makes me happier than anything in the world. The least I can do is go out of my comfort zone and trust in the Lord, that he will lead me along, and lead me to people who are ready to find the happiness that I have found, and to be okay when I find people who aren't ready for that. And be able to go to an apartment somewhere in Italy, where there are a bunch of other girls who miss their mothers, and their best friends, and their dog, and be able to sleep soundly at night.
"Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me." Hymn 97
Really, I am at an age and a time in my life, as are all of my friends, where we are making really important, and scary decisions. Really wonderful, terrifying decisions.
All the best decisions are that way, though, aren't they?