Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh hey.

I am doing that unsafe thing where I have a trillion things to do, so I blog.
It's great.

Today, I was in math. That class is a joke. My professor is almost as bad at math as I am. That's scary. I correct him often, which is also scary.

So anyway, we are seated in groups of 4, kind of like they did in high school classrooms sometimes. At my table is a sketchy gangster boy who looks up information about marajuana on his laptop during class, and two Mexican guys, one who sleeps, and one who wakes him up. The one who sleeps says he is a DJ, and asked me if I would come to a Halloween party with him like a month or so ago. I was like, "Oh. I have to work until late. It is crazy. Sorry." And it was awkward, because his friend who wakes him up was like, "He just asked you on a DATE." And I was like, Yeah dude. I got it. And it was awk. And I tried to go back to note-taking.
 I thought maybe he got the message that I didn't really want to date him. And then today, the exact same thing happened. "Emily, what are you doing on Thursday?" "Oh, my friend has a recital. I ca--" "HE JUST ASKED YOU ON A DAAAATE." "Yeah. Got it. I can't." And then they both laughed. And I was like. Okay. Weird. And then they all laughed about how I probably think they're psychos. And I was like, Well, yes. This is true.

And then I started brainstorming the story I would make up the next time he tried to bring it up. Because it's not like he just asks me out, and then lets it go. He laughs about how I rejected him, like its not super awkward or anything. My brainstorm consisted of me telling him I have a 21 year old boyfriend named Jim who is a dental student at ASU, and that we're going to Disneyland over Christmas break, and that he writes little stories for me to read, and lets me pick out clothes for him when we go shopping, and brings me Cafe Rio sometimes. Not that that's like the perfect man or anything. ........

So yeah,
Dear boys,
Never ask girls out:
-In the middle of class. Chances are, she's trying to, um, work. Talk to her later.
-If you don't even know them. Like, at least find out what they're majoring in, or what they do for a living, or what they do for fun, or SOMETHING. And make sure she knows a little bit about you, or else you'll come across as sketchy.
-After you just woke up from a nap. I never really anticipated this ever happening to me, but just so you know, it's like getting asked out by someone who's having a hangover.
-When you're in a group setting. Yeah, no pressure or anything, everyone around you is just kind of waiting for you to answer, and you kind of suck if you say no...
-And then be obnoxious and loud if they say no. Evidently, there's something about you she isn't too crazy about. You sure as heck aren't going to win her over if you start yelling about how you just got "reJECTEEEEED.."

Just saying, people. Just saying.

1 comment:

  1. you should make a youtube series full of your great advice and crazy stories. i would watch it.